Speaking about Your Marriage

As I listened to her share her heart and watched her cry, it took everything in me not to cry with her. I tried to be aware that I needed to stay in a place as her life coach so I could encourage her. But just because I’m a life coach doesn’t mean I don’t feel pain when people share their lives with me, because I do! As a life coach, I hear amazing stories and I get excited with people, but this day was one of those stories that caused my heart to hurt.

I’m not married, but I truly believe marriage is one of most beautiful ideas that God ever had. I know a lot of people who have amazing marriages. That doesn’t mean they don’t go through difficult seasons or that being married can’t be incredibly painful at times. But for some people being married can seem impossibly hard—and there can be times when marriage can literally be hell on earth.

I’m sure if you’re married you also would agree that there’s no one who can frustrate you any more than your spouse can. But I also know there’s no person that can make you feel as loved as your spouse.

But on this specific day, I was listening to a woman whose heart was completely broken. As she described her situation in great depth, she felt hopeless in that moment. As she talked, she processed through many thoughts that day. She was very authentic and honest with herself about how she felt—angry, sad, tired, rejected, abandoned and on her list went.

I think it’s very important when you’re going through things to be able to be open and honest with someone who can be objective and give you the feedback that you need. (Be careful, especially if you’re a woman, not to open up to men haters. Don’t have time to go into that today, but there are various reasons that women become bitter toward men. I’ll just leave that there to give you something to think about.) But talking is very important. If you don’t process everything that’s inside of you, your heart will grow hardened, you will grow bitter, and you could become very depressed and isolated internally.

As she talked that day, I was able to encourage her—and I’m happy to say she left very hopeful.

After she left our session that day, I had a real burden to do more to help her through this difficult situation. I wanted to help her fight for the marriage she so deserved.

So I texted her and asked her one simple thing: Can you please send me the Scriptures you are standing on for your marriage?

You have to realize it’s important to share and talk about difficult things you are going through in your marriage, but you have to determine to pray more words over your marriage than you speak about your marriage. If all you ever say about your marriage is what you presently have, then all you will have in your marriage is what you presently have. Words are powerful, especially God’s words.

I think most married people would agree that they don’t pray nearly enough for their marriage—and for their spouse. Many people can think about things. They can discuss things. They can attempt to fix things. They can try to work on things. They can say they’re sorry for things. But talking about things and thinking about things and working on things are not at all the same as praying for them.

So today, as I was thinking about marriage and my session with her, I thought of how relevant this was for people going through difficult seasons in relationships—especially marriages.

So whether you are blessed to be able to say, “I have a great marriage,” or you are going through serious challenges, will you commit to doing one thing? Will you commit to becoming more intentional about praying for your marriage? I truly believe that is the first step toward your marriage becoming what your heart longs for.

Here are just a few scriptures that will encourage you:

  • He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. You are my lap, oh Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light. (2 Samuel 22:17, 29)
  • Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. (Colossians 4:6)
  • What shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31)
  • For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly rounds. (Ephesians 6:12)
  • Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. (Hebrews 10:23)


One closing thought: Don’t ever forget that the best part of your life is still in front of you.

For a free coaching session, just go to: https://www.margiemcdaniel.org/life_coach_minneapolis/

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